ISO: Vintage Calvin Klein Dress
Technology is saving me from the illusion of my desires.
Technology is saving me from the illusion of my desires.
I am very rarely In Search Of a dress but I am very often in need of a dress. Dresses are one of the most difficult items of clothing because they take up the most amount of Material Per Nuance. In the equation that is an outfit, you get 3-4 articles of clothing to communicate competing but coherent parts of the self. Because dresses take up two of the allotted slots, in order to pull their square weight they must make up for their loss in what they are able to communicate. This is nearly impossible because why would a dress ever make you look vaguely french and also slightly masculine?
For whatever reason, the equation works itself out easier if you cut your bangs too short. I imagine the same is true if you bleach your hair or get 8 billion little tattoos. There is an extra element to distribute the weight of performance. In any case, my bangs have grown out and no one is talking about the fact that dresses cost $500 now. Dresses are all about doing mental math or emptying your bank account.
A rather nondescript Calvin Klein dress once became the victim of one of my strongest sartorial fixations. When I look at it now, it’s hard to rationalize its allure but I can still remember what it felt like to see the dress as something that might alter something in me. Most of the items I am In Search Of are easy enough to track down — they are a part of an archival collection or are given proper names like daughters by the designer. I can search things like MNZ Una Sandal or Miu Miu SS 1999 and usually find the item I’m looking for — the question is usually whether or not I can financially find what I’m looking for.
Famously, you can’t search “Vintage Calvin Klein Slip Dress” into Google and expect to find a specific slip. I don’t think the allure of the dress was that I couldn’t have it — I think the allure was that I didn’t really know what it looked like. Because I didn’t actually know what it looked like, it was easy to decide that it was going to make me look 6” and also 5”3.
When my mom fell in love with the wallpaper at a restaurant we were at recently, my sister and I assured her we could find it for her on Google Lens. It had never occurred to me before — of course I could reverse image search clothing I was In Search Of. For days, I was up to no good.
The first thing I uploaded to Google Lens was a screenshot of the Calvin Klein dress I found in 2021. Not because I still think about the dress — but I was fascinated by the idea of no longer being stuck within the confines of search terms. Words alone had failed me and my desires. The dress immediately popped up — this time, from a vintage collector. For the first time in three years I saw the dress in a completely different light. I realized I had never seen the bottom of the dress before. I always pictured it full length but it graced an awkward middle ground.
From this angle, I knew what it would feel like to receive this dress in the mail. I didn’t have to go through the step of disappointment, I got to cut through my illusion. The best part of online shopping is after you press send on an item but before it arrives in the mailbox. It’s the same as applying to jobs before you hear back. Or grad school programs. You get to live in the liminal space of your own desires before they are repeated back to you.
For once, my apps have set me free. They have shortened the distance between my projections and reality. This time, with just with one alternative viewpoint. It’s often enough to offset a delicate, mythical ratio.
As a treat for paid subscribers here are some perfect summer dresses I have found on the world wide web just for you. If you enjoy ISO, support a local yearner through the fall of media as we know it by becoming a paid subscriber <3